How can I support a friend or loved one
that I believe is in a domestic violence relationship?
- Acknowledge that their situation is difficult, scary, and brave of them to regain control from – It is not easy to disclose or talk about domestic violence and their partner being abusive.
- Do not judge their decisions – This may not be the right time for them to leave. They know their situation best.
- Do not tell the victim what to do – We like to empower people with knowledge and allow them to make the decision that is best for them.
- Do not speak poorly of the abusive partner – Remember even if they are “hating” this person or situation in this moment this person is their partner. If we speak poorly of them, it appears we are judging the choices the victim has made. It is okay to acknowledge that what the person is doing is abuse or not okay. Address the act not the person.
- Offer resources – Be careful to ensure it is safe for them to receive information and that they want the information.
- Remember that you cannot “rescue them,” and that decisions about their lives are up to them to make.
If you would like additional information on how to support someone that is in an abusive relationship please call our hotline
800-825-8876
800-825-8876
Heal, Hold & CenterDomestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) is a national campaign dedicated to raising awareness about domestic violence. Every October, organizations and individuals unite across the country for a national effort to uplift the needs, voices, and experiences of survivors. Congress declared the month of October to be Domestic Violence Awareness Month in 1989.
For DVAM 2024, the Domestic Violence Awareness Project is proud to build on the theme Heal, Hold & Center, first launched in 2023. This DVAM and beyond, we must work together, embrace the many cultural ways we can heal from violence and oppression, commit to holding space for survivors, and center those most marginalized in all of our efforts to end domestic violence. As we heal, hold, and center survivors, especially those navigating anti-Blackness and other systems of oppression, we remain grounded in the knowledge that there is no survivor justice without racial justice.
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VAWnet
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This guide offers an opportunity to dig deeper into each piece of the theme – Heal, Hold & Center – as well as its connection to the broader core message, No Survivor Justice Without Racial Justice. The prompts throughout the guide can be utilized through personal reflection, in organizations with fellow advocates, with survivors who may or may not access formal services, in community spaces with those invested in peace and justice, with the general public via social media or awareness events, and elsewhere.
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